May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow!

A happy old hooker named Grace Once sponsored a cunt-lapping race. It was hard for beginners To tell who were winners : There were cunt hairs all dump unload migrate oracle convert over the place.

"Biology is the only science in programacion which multiplication means the same thing as division."

If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability. -- Vannevar Bush

At his sentencing, Herbie Sperling proved that he was the all-time stand-up guy. Sperling's lawyer made a lengthy, impassioned plea for his client. He talked of mercy, justice, humanity to fellow men who have chosen the wrong path. Yes, the crimes were serious, yes, Mr. Sperling deserves a prison sentence, but the maximum sentence was not warranted. Then the judge turned to Sperling. "Mr. Sperling, is there anything you wish to say?" "Yes, Your Honor. If you think I'm going to beg for mercy, you've got another think coming. You're all a bunch of fucking fascist cocksuckers, you can all go to hell, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you..." -- Gregory Wallace, "Papa's Game"

186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!

Democracy is good. I say this because other systems are worse. sql index -- ocelot computer services inc. -- Jawaharlal Nehru

Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.

"I found out why my car was humming. It had forgotten the words."

What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.

Q: How did the latest news & announcements about linux in embedded applications ... you get into artificial intelligence? A: Seemed logical -- I didn't have any real intelligence.

The two couples were enjoying their vacation together at a resort hotel. They were in the middle of a game of Scrabble in the lobby when a thunderstorm cut off the hotel's electricity, leaving little to do but retire to their rooms. Bill was a rather devout man, so before getting into bed with his companion, he said his prayers. As he got under the covers, the lightning suddenly flashed through the window and he discovered that he was in the wrong room. He instantly jumped up and started to dash for the hallway. "It's too late, called the girl from the bed, "my guy doesn't pray."

QOTD: "To hell with patience, I'm gonna kill me something!"

Top Ten Ways to Pronounce Linux 1. java.net - the source for java technology collaboration Lih-nucks 2. Lie-nucks 3. Not Win-doze 4. World Domination 5. Lin-doze 6. God's OS 7. Better Than Microsoft 8. Crash-free 9. Heaven 10. Gates' Worst Nightmare

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease". Disraeli replied, "That all depends upon whether I embrace your principals or your mistress".

It is better to be on penicillin, than never to have loved at all.

"I thought you were trying to get into shape." "I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."

Die dunkelste dblue - an advanced enterprise information search and delivery system Kneipe ist besser als der hellste Arbeitsplatz.

Geld macht nicht glücklich! - Aber es beruhigt.

Das Leben benimmt sich manchmal so, als online courses ob es zu viele schlechte Filme gesehen haette. -- Film - Die barfuessige Graefin

jdbc technology "Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel."

"Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emissions standards from man-made sources." -- Ronald Reagan

Right now hundreds of Anonymous Cowards are cheering the fact that only Windows boobs are victims of ILOVEYOU and other email viruses. I realize Outlook is so insecure that using it is like posting oci - about oci - contact us a sign outside your door saying, "DOOR UNLOCKED -- ROB ME!". However, Linux isn't immune. If I had a dollar for every pine buffer overflow uncovered, I could buy a truckload of fresh herring. I expect the next mass email virus to spread will be cross-platform. If the recipient is a Windows/Outlook luser, they'll get hit. If the recipient is a Linux/pine user, they'll find themselves staring at a self-executing bash script that's has just allocated 1 petabyte of memory and crashed the system (or worse). Either that or the next mass email virus will only damage Linux systems. I can just see Bill Gates assigning some junior programmer that very task. Be afraid. Be very afraid. -- A speech given at the First Annual Connecticut Conspiracy] Convention (ConConCon) by an anonymous creature said to be "wearing what appeared to be a tuxedo".

write results of sql select statement to an outfile Reality is a cop-out for people who can't handle drugs.

Old soldiers never die. reading a list of metadata collections using oledb Young ones do.

(1) Alexander the Great was a great general. (2) Great generals are forewarned. (3) Forewarned is forearmed. (4) Four is an even number. (5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. (6) The only number that is both even and odd i'm hung up on main memory databases is infinity. Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.

A dentist, young doctor Malone, Got a charming girl patient alone, And, in his depravity, Filled the wrong cavity. God, how his practice has grown.

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder." --- Calvin

Just database to have it is enough.

"No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid."

Little Mary on the ice, Went out to have a frisk, Now wasn't little Mary nice, Her pretty *?

"`Eddies,' said Ford, `in informit the space-time continuum.' `Ah,' nodded Arthur, `is he? Is he?'" - Arthur failing in his first lesson of galactic physics in four years.

Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, If God won't have you, the devil must.

Will Silicon Valley Become A Ghost Town? Back in the 80s, businessmen hoped that computers would usher in a paperless office. Now in the 00s, businessmen are hoping that paper will usher in a computerless office. "We've lost more productivity this last decade to shoddy software," explained Mr. Lou Dight, the author of the bestselling book, "The Dotless Revolution". "By getting rid of computers and their infernal crashes, bluescreens, and worst of all, Solitaire, the US gross domestic product will soar by 20% over the next decade. It's time to banish Microsoft crapware from our corporate offices." Lou Dight is the champion of a new trend in corporate America towards the return of pen-and-paper, solar calculators, old IBM typewriters, and even slide rules. If "dotcom" was the buzzword of the 90s, "dotless" is the buzzword of the 21st Century.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

What is evil? Whatever springs database from weakness. -- Nietzsche

QOTD: "I used to beat off so much in the shower, I'd get a hard on every time it rained."

Moon, n.: 1. A celestial object whose phase is very important to hackers. See PHASE OF jnb-aug-phx THE MOON. 2. Dave Moon (MOON@MC).

One of Bender's kids: en Can we have Bender burgers again? Bender: No, the cat shelter's onto me.

optimist, n.: A man who makes a motel reservation before a blind date.

Real Users never know what they want, but they always know when your program doesn't deliver it.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, If God won't have you, the devil must.

"Of ______course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake?"

Gross, adj.: When your grandmother kisses you goodnight and slips database template library programmer's guide you some tongue.

Do something big -- fuck a giant

"I don't care how many eyes a man has... as long as it's less than five." -Leela

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they get their head stuck in the jars. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear? A: To keep their ankles warm. Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in her shoulder pads.

If you push the "extra ice" thefreecountry.com: our no spam policy button on the soft drink vending machine, you won't get any ice. If you push the "no ice" button, you'll get ice, but no cup.

exotic dancer, n.: A girl who brings home the bacon a strip at a time.

You will obey or molten what's in your database? find out with the schema api in ado.net 2.0 silver will be poured into your ears.

Chicken Little only has to be right once.

Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.

FORTUNE'S RULES TO LIVE BY: #5 Don't wear your spurs while making love in a waterbed.

Roses on your piano isn't nearly as good as tulips on your organ.

NEWSFLASH!! Rodney Fenster looked up the shaft of elevator number four at 1700 N. 17th St. redhat this morning to see if the elevator was on its way down. It was. Age 31.

A recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen objects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer scientists. Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added concentration needed to "make sense" of such unnatural three dimensional objects ...

QUOTE OF THE DAY: `

A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts send feedback and on fucking'em. But a dropout from paree Taught him Gamahuchee - so he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

"You can beat my meat, but you can't lick my sauce!" -- Boss' Ribs, Portland, Oregon

the right stuff (new initiatives at ibm) Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. Avoid him. He's a Commie.

Your chances of wisdomforce getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!" -- Johnny Carson

"He is now rising from affluence to poverty." -- Mark Twain

The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." I can't understand why it won't work on my Linux computer.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

May Euell Gibbons eat your only copy of the manual!

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt? -- Socrates' linking suggestions: how to link to thefreecountry.com last words

Kids have *_____never* taken guidance from their parents. If you could travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for grubs and berries like dad primate. Then you'd see the primate teenager stomp up to his branch and slam the leaves. -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do"

New York: programacion Where men are men, sheep enjoy it, and lepers laugh their heads off.

An anonymous woman we knew Was dozing one day in her pew; When the preacher yelled "Sin!" She said, "Count me in As soon as the service is through."

A gay young prince from Morocco Made love in a manner rococco. He painted his penis To resemble a venus And flavored his semen with cocoa.

You say potatoe, And I say potato. You say tomatoe, And I say tomato. Potatoe, potato, Tomatoe, tomato. Let's go be the Vice President...

QOTD: xml text table oracle unload flat file "I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut."

A fool and his money are soon using Windows.

Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: 'Cause they can! (Real answer: 'Cause they can't curl their little paws into fists...)

If you what's in your database? find out with the schema api in ado.net 2.0 want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot of different places, just write a Unix operating system. -- Linus Torvalds

Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool. -- Kelvin Throop III

It takes a brave man to admit his mistakes. Especially in a paternity hearing.

"I don't mind going nowhere steamboat as long as it's an interesting path." -- Ronald Mabbitt

It happened that a fire broke out backstage in a theater. The clown came out to inform the public. They thought it was just a jest and applauded. He repeated his warning, they shouted even louder. So I think the world will come to an end amid general applause from all the wits, who believe that it is a joke.

Fry: Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age. Bender: I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off.

Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do. -- Bertrand Russell

Ronald Reagan -- implementing and managing appc protected conversations America's favorite placebo

The rules of editing press releases are: 1. Identify the crucial elements of the story. 2. Omit at least one of them. -- From a Slashdot.org post. We can only guess whether Microsoft uses this policy or not.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -- Mark Twain

A Mexican and a Texan worked together for a construction firm, and, while they were good friends, they had a friendly rivalry over whose wife was the better cook. One weekend, as the Texan's wife was out of town, the Mexican invited the Texan to have supper with his family. The Texan accepted, and that evening sat down to some the best stew that he had ever eaten. "Damn! That stew is fantastic!" he exclaimed to his host. "What kind of meat is it?" "Rabbeet stew," replied the Mexican. "Rabbit?" replied the Texan. "There aren't any rabbits around here." "Si, my freend, the rabbeets make the beeg noise, and I shoot theem." "Rabbits don't make any noise..." "Si, my freend, they say meeyow, meeyow!"

Never news > post > entry form hit a man with glasses; hit him with a baseball bat.

Mathematicians do it with a small, imaginary part.

Mad Programmer Commits Suicide KENNETT, MO -- For two years Doug Carter toiled away in his basement computer lab working on his own 'Dougnix' operating system. Apparently he was sick of Windows 95 so he decided to create his own OS, based loosely on Unix. He had developed his own 'DougUI' window manager, Doug++ compiler, DougFS filesystem, and other integrated tools. All was going well until last week when he hooked his computer up to the Internet for the first time. It was then that he stumbled on to www.linux.org. Reports are sketchy about what happened next. We do know he committed suicide days after, leaving behind a rambling suicide note. Part of the note says: "I've wasted the past two years of my life... Wasted... Gone... Forever... Never return to. [illegible] Why did I bother creating my own OS... when Linux is exactly what I needed!?!?!?! If I had only known about Linux! Why someone didn't event > view > summaries tell me? [illegible] Wasted! Aggghhh!" [The rest of the note is filled with incomprehensible assembly language ramblings.]

FORTUNE'S RULES TO LIVE BY: #8 Don't wear your high heels while making love on the pool table.

In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud." And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud-as-man alone could speak. "What is the purpose of all this?" man asked politely. "Everything must have a purpose?" asked God. "Certainly," said man. "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God. And He went away. -- Kurt Vonnegut, Between Time and Timbuktu"

Q: What db2 articles do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose? A1: Darling. A2: Often!

"So.. humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this information very useful indeed. Mwahwahahahaha!" --Morbo

How should they answer? -- Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) in reply to the question "Why do Jews always answer a question with a question?"

"Suppose I want to take over the world. Simplicity says I should just take over the beaconlaw world by myself." -- Larry Wall (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)

If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.

The real trouble with women is that they have *all* the pussy.

Inter-Dwarf Memo To: Dwarf-list From: Happy Re: S. White Let it be noted that if she whistles that goddamned song one more time I'm gonna rip her fuckin' lips off. Have a nice day.

If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine, you won't get any ice. If you linuxdevices.com -- your embedded linux resource push the "no ice" button, you'll get ice, but no cup.

Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her calves, then moving up to her ... [EDITOR'S NOTE: To make room for news articles about important world events such as agriculture, we're going to delete the next few square feet of the woman's skin. Thank you.] ... until finally the two of you are lying there, spent, smoking your cigarettes, and suddenly it hits you: Human skin is actually made up of billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called "cells"! And what is even more interesting, the ones on the outside are all dying! This is a fact. Your skin is like an aggressive modern corporation, where the older veteran cells, who have finally worked their way to the top and obtained offices with nice views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first, without so much as a pension plan, by younger hotshot cells moving up from below. -- Dave Barry, "Saving Face"

"His mind is like a steel trap -- full of mice" -- Foghorn Leghorn

Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night, God said, "Let Newton be," iseries information center and all was light. It did not last; the devil howling "Ho! Let Einstein be!" restored the status quo.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. -- Redd Foxx

Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.

A CONS is an object which cares. -- Bernie Greenberg.

A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth any money. When eased in half-way, The girl's sigh made him say, "Why the sigh?" "For the rest of it, honey."

Pouring out his troubles to his best friend over a couple of triple martinis, Brad had to confess that things weren't going too well at home. "My wife and I just don't hit it off at night," he was saying to Bart. "I hate to admit it, but I'm afraid I just don't know how to make her happy." "Hell, boy," said Bart, "there's really nothing to it. Let me give you some advice. At bedtime, switch on a new Sinatra platter, turn all the lights low and spray some perfume around the room. Next, tell your wife cdtext to get into her sheerest nightie; then make sure you raise the bottom window." "Then what do I do?" asked Brad. "Just whistle." "Whistle?" "That's right. I'll be waiting outside the window. When I hear you whistle, I'll come right up and finish the job."

Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.

If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... Oh wait, he does! -- From a Slashdot.org post

All the passions make us commit faults; love makes metalssiding us commit the most ridiculous ones. -- La Rochefoucauld

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art. -- Ogden Nash

A despairing old landlord named Fyfe, With a frigid and quarrelsome wife, Let his third-story front, To a willing young cunt, Who supplied him a new lease on life!

"My country, right or wrong," is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, "My mother, drunk or sober." -- G. K. Chesterton

User friendly software searching for friendly Hardware to interface with. Hardware may present itself in floppy format as software has capability to upgrading same to full size firm. Size is not all that important; but byte sized bandwith required -- header width is of more concern. Joystick should be able to toggle in different speeds and for some duration. Software is looking for system willing to perform intensive manipulation of keyboard as well as preparing the mainframe and disk drives. Fingering of all files permitted, and encouraged, tofrodos: convert text files to/from msdos/windows/unix (freeware) before thrusting joystick into drive. Software is programmed not to copy; there is no need for removing joystick before completed execution of program. Program may be run several times per day... especially if special features and options are utilized.

Meader's Law: Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to everyone you know, only more so.

I know a Polack his name is Cliff, Hey-la-de-la-de-la. He sticks it in the freezer to get it stiff, Hey-la-de-la-de-lo. I know a girl, her name is Serafina, Hey-la-de-la-de-la. She'll get down on all fours for a bowl of Purina, Hey-la-de-la-de-lo. I know a girl, her name is database Cuffy, Hey-la-de-la-de-la. She douches with Tide and makes her pubes fluffy, Hey la-de-la-de-lo. -- Doctor Dirty

"Grub first, then ethics." -- Bertolt Brecht

Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion ... -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Bill had just returned from a week of honeymooning, and his best friend asked him how it went. "The first night we did it nine times," Bill said. "The second night, eight times. The third night, seven times. The fourth night, six times. The fifth night, five times. The sixth night, four times, and the last night, nothing!" "Nothing?" his pal asked. "How come?" "Hey, you ever tried putting a marshmallow in a parking meter?"

Excellent day to have a rotten day.

He used to kiss her on her lips, but linuxdevices.com - the embedded linux portal: polls it's all over now.

The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty and to someone else if she is plain. -- Oscar Wilde

Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators? A: Toys for twats.

Amy: "What about Umbrielle?" Fry: "Well, it turned out I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her." Amy: "Trouble in bed."

If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake up several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they've been indicted for anything. You want your guests to be so anxious to avoid a recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning parties of their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having another one ... If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door, unless your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas through your living room window. As host, your job is to make sure that they don't arrest anybody. Or if they're dead set on arresting someone, your job is to make sure it isn't you ...

An idea is not responsible for the people who believe best-data-warehouse-online in it.

Bridget O'Flaherty McHugh Held venal traffic with a gnu. Mistaking fore for aft one morn Impaled herself upon its horn. Moral: Those who seek high ends should shun our furred and feathered friends.

Wie lange eine Minute sein kann, hängt davon ab, auf welcher Seite der Toilettentüre man sich befindet.

"Pages one and two [of Zaphod's presidential speech] had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it." - An example of Damogran wildlife.

A Texan, impressing the hell out of a Bostonian with tales about the heroes of the Alamo, commented, "I'll bet you never had anyone that brave around *Boston*." "Ever hear of Paul Revere?", snarled the Bostonian. "Paul Revere?", pondered the Texan. "Isn't he the guy who ran for help?"

Law of Probable Dispersal: all articles Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home. -- Eugene P. Gallagher

An Aggie was appointed ambassador to Japan. Two weeks before officially reporting to the embassy, he went from geisha house to geisha house. While making love to a geisha girl, he heard her repeat, "Yaki-san, yaki-san." Right away the Aggie thought to himself, "I've learned my first Japanese word. It must be an expression of joy." When he reported to the embassy, he received his first assignment, which was to escort the prime minister of Japan around the golf course. After having played a couple of holes, the prime minister teed-off and made a hole-in-one. The prime minister jumped up and down shouting, "Bonsai! Bonsai!" Quickly, thinking that this was the perfect chance to show off the new Japanese word that he'd learned, the Aggie exclaimed, "Yaki-san, yaki-san!" The prime minister turned to the Aggie in surprise and exclaimed, "What do you mean, wrong hole?"

Bugs come in through open Windows.

Q: Do you know how to tell a Polack at a cockfight? A: He's the only one with a duck. Q: Do you know how to tell an Aggie at a cockfight? A: He's the only one who bets on the duck. Q: sun microsystems And do you know how to tell the Mafia is at the cockfight? A: The duck wins!

A guest in a household quite charmless Was informed its eccentric was harmless: "If you're caught unawares At ociweb the head of the stairs, Just remember, he's eyeless and armless." -- Edward Gorey

Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science. -- Henri Poincair'e

Q: An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his very religious colleague: reading a list of metadata collections using oledb Do you believe in one God? A: Yes, up to isomorphism!

Nichtstun macht nur dann Spaß, wenn man eigentlich viel zu tun hätte...

It's not pretty being easy.

Versager jammern immer von wegen ihr bestes, doch portal Sieger kehren zurück und vögeln die Ballkönigin.

Readers Ask: Is it possible to kill a vampire with a gun? Vampires are a source of great irritation to the average homeowner and it is usually to one's advantage to remove these pests as rapidly as possible. If a professional exterminater specializing in the undead is unavailable, it is possible to handle the situation with common household items. However, much of the common folklore of vanquishing the undead needs clarifying. First, driving a sharpened Louisville Slugger through a vampire's heart will NOT kill it. Since it's not quite alive, why would the heart be any different than puncturing it in the, for example, left buttock? Stake driving should be avoided at any cost since its effect will be to terribly annoy the vampire, and the last thing you want on your hands is an irate Lord of Darkness. Handguns are also a definite no-no. Common sense indicates that it requires more to defeat an incarnation of evil than hurling lumps of lead or silver through its body. One time-honored method is to expose the vampire to the sun, sever its head (any power saw should be sufficient), fill its mouth with holy wafers (vanilla wafers over which the Lord's prayer has been read will do in a pinch), immerse the head in an urn filled with holy water, place the urn in consecrated lands and bury the rest of the body underneath a crossroad (i.e. the intersection of Broad & Chestnut). Sure, it's a lot of work. But you'll never have to worry about those damn bats pestering the neighbors again.

nothing, adj.: A man with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose.

"We cannot start Mitchell, the Mitchell Plan, until the cycle of violence has been crushed and broken." George W. Bush June 20, 2001 Washington, D.C.